Single Status and Parental Attitudes

Yesterday was a particularly trying day for me. My parents were at my home to take delivery of a bed which they’d suggested I buy as a spare bed for my new home. This was not the type of bed which I’d seen and wanted, but as they’d lready bought it, I had no choice but to accept it.

On arriving home yesterday I found that my mother had rearranged the contents of my freezer and my kitchen cupboards. She was susprised when I looked a bit fed up about it. I said to her that whilst I appreciated her help, I’d be grateful if she didn’t do that again as I have systems for knowing where I have put things. She was unreasonably angry about my response as she saw it as me shunning her help. No matter what I said, she could not see what the problem was and a fierce row ensued.

Having sorted this out eventually and poured oil over troubled waters, I still feel very resentful that she feels she can reorganise my kitchen. Having thought about it more, I realise that she would never have done this when my husband was living with me as she’d have seen it as an intrusion.

I feel that now that I am single and also have a disability, I have lost some of my status as an adult. I have become a child again in my mother’s eyes whose ideas and ways of living are inferior to hers. As a blind person I often do things very differently to my mother and she cannot accept this believing that her ways are the best.

Following that argument we then had another about booking me a flight ticket to France. The flight is from Nottingham East Midlands Airport to Nantes in northern France. The only airline which appears to do it are Ryan Air. Their attitude towards blind travellers is appalling in my view and I am very reluctant to give them my money. They insist that blind people use a wheelchair to and from the plane and they only allow a blind person to travel if they have less than three other disabled people on the flight.

My Mother thinks that I should use the wheelchair and my sense of humour but some things are just not funny!

I find her attitude very disturbing as she will often argue against matters which I feel are essential for blind and disabled people to have equality. She thinks I should leave my dog at home rather than cause a nuisance with her in a restaurant which might be unhappy about accepting guide dogs as she finds the whole situation embarrassing. She also thinks that I should not expect Braille documentation from service providers as this is expensive and having my documents read to me is perfectly acceptable. The list is endless but with people like that in this country, its no wonder that the Disability Discrimination Act is so biased towards the side of the service providers.


About Mel Griffiths

I live and work in Nottingham, England and am blind. This blog is often centred around things that happen to me because of being blind. This is my space to write and sometimes people will disagree with what I write, but its the one place I have in which to be frank and honest. I also like to reflect on the funnier side of life from time to time.
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